Let's Talk About Sexual Harassment in Cosplay

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Ranger-26's avatar
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Let's Talk!



With Cosplay is NOT Consent being an ongoing topic in the cosplay community, I decided to share my own personal experiences I had with my Catwoman cosplay on Circe Sisters Cosplay.  This blog also explains more in-depth my reasons for crossplaying up until this point. 

Come join the discussion here!


© 2015 - 2024 Ranger-26
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Shunhades's avatar
Personally, I can honestly say I've had both positive and negative experiences with cosplay. The negative was minimal because I didn't allow it to go further. But that doesn't mean it was appreciated or okay.

Maybe you haven't had experience with this. But here's a few things I've had experience with personally.

Even though I'm overweight, I basically discovered that if it's a character someone really likes, they will annoy the crap out of you asking for your contact information, giving you reasons why you should date them, etc.

I had this experience with a friend of a friend. And frankly it was ridiculous. Even today some friends try to get me to "get along" with this person. But I refuse to because I feel his reaction was inappropriate.

To give the scenario, I was staying at a friends house for a con. And after the con, I was taking the time to prepare my cosplay for the next day (brush out wig, straighten if needed, lay out cosplay, etc). The friend of the friend came into the room I was staying in to chat. Which, okay, no big deal, friend and other friend (who was also the GF of friend at the time), both went into his room and basically left him by his self. The conversation started out normal enough. But then it eventually took a turn where he was telling me if we were dating I couldn't have male friends, go to cons by myself, would tell me what to wear, who to hang with, etc.

My response was that I would NEVER date someone like him, and he was SOL. Because I would never date anyone who would be that disrespectful or couldn't trust me.

For a short time he dropped it. But then made inappropriate comments about how he wanted to date me because I was his type because I was over weight (As someone with medical issues who's trying to lose weight. This frankly really hurt.). So basically he'd also stated he'd only date me because I was over weight.

Now, I understand that people have their preferences. But to be honest this is NOT how you attempt to go on a date with someone. Especially with someone like me who won't date someone I'd just met maybe 8 hours prior. His want of dating me was basically because I'd cosplayed the Dark Magician Girl for a skit my friends were doing. Frankly til this day this thought disgusts me. Because it went to show that even though I'm not that hot sexy girl many guys would want. It showed there are still people out there who will hope you will cater to their sexual fantasy because you not only cosplayed a character they adored. But you were the body type they prefer as well.

Yes, I kicked him out of the room after a certain point and locked the door. He'd made it apparent numerous types he was hoping to get laid with me. Even though I'd told him numerous times I was not interested.

Why did I feel the need to mention this?

Well, it's common for people to hear about how beautiful women like Clockworkim get sexually harassed. But there's hardly any tales of someone like me who's rather average and over weight who's experienced the same issues.

I wanted people to know that no matter what your body type. It happens to any cosplayer. Like Clockworkim, I'm not trying to scare people out of cosplaying. Because there's many good things about it.

I am saying that you have to do what you must do to be safe. Because there are people out there who will IGNORE everything they are told about leaving people alone. Or how such things that they do or say are inappropriate.

People do not cosplay to be sex objects. We do not do it to cater to your sexual fantasies. And just because we cosplay does not mean we are looking for one night stands. Or to be in any form of a relationship. Deal with it.

Another scenario (yes I have another one, but it's different from the first one) that I have noted is when you cosplay a character someone adores. And they literally try to force themselves on you. I don't mean this sexually. I mean like they want you to be their friend. Hope to be in your cosplay group. Want to claim that you're theirs. This sort of thing.

While this isn't nearly as bad as people who are trying to force their sexual desires on another person. It's still highly aggravating and annoying. I can't tell you how many times I've walked around in my Sebastian (Kuroshitsuji) cosplay, and someone would try to force their way into being "my Ciel." It was also very ridiculous.

Just because someone cosplays as a character you enjoy. Does not mean you get to "Collect" them into your group or whatever it is your putting your "collection" into. Learn to understand if you ask if you can be in their cosplay group or be their friend if they say no. It's no. Don't get butt hurt about it. Maybe they don't want to be your friend because you literally just, met, them.

And it's not uncommon for people to not want to have a billion friends. I am that person who's not looking to befriend every person I meet. I'll take photos with you. I may have a chat with you. But that does not make us friends. And it certainly does not make me your property. Point Blank.